Think I'll just go home. Noone at work today. What am I doing here, Wednesday before Thanksgiving. TV says that traffic will be abyssmal from 1:00 on. Better get out now (10:00 AM). All I've been doing is blogging all morning. It's terrible how I fall into these habitual nonproductive patterns. Got to get a grip. Waking up at 6:30 then going back to sleep till 8:30. Feel like I'm drugged. Could be all the drugs I take. But without them I have no since of 'normal' reality. My regular reality is one inhabited by witches and Gods and spirit voices and something called "The Conversation.""The Conversation" is always about me. Actually "The Conversation" is me, talking from my brain only it's not internal, it's outside of me. I hear it through my ears. It's made up of bits and fragments of other people's conversations with a strong dose of auditory hallucinations thrown in to make it interesting. It's sort a running commentary on things going on in my mind. Different environments add something to "The Conversation" too. There's one place where it's very negative and hateful. In a totally different setting it's full of love and humor. Word games in my head coordinate with events in the environment to make it all very entertaining. Trouble is that it sucks me in, seduces me, then without notice it turns destructive, addictive, it takes over. I get locked into "The Conversation" and can't get out. Loved ones turn into mouthpieces for my mind giving me secret messages from the future. Soon there is nothing else but "The Conversation."When that happens I have to take a Valium and chill!
:: Tom 9:53 AM [+] ::
...
:: Tuesday, November 26, 2002 ::
Have been blogging most of the day, mostly young people's blogs, teens and twenties populate blogland. I'm an anachronym. A hold over from 30 yrs. ago, I've been recycled, made to relive my youthful mistakes over and over again in some kind of eternal purgatory. Yeah, but it keeps me young! I have a friend in LA who is Younger/Older than I am! 'He who is not busy being born, is busy dying.'
Listening to: My own CD entitled Album 88
Mood: Phat
Body: Aches
Let's see, Ooops, it's 3:30, time to go home. No library tomorrow night, no work on Friday but I'll be back at the blogstone on Saturday morn. Hope all bloggers are thankful for their blogs!