:: My Reality ::
:: Wednesday, October 22, 2003 ::
Man Interuppted
When I was in the Insane Asylum (that's what they used to call them. Sometimes "State Hospital" or "Psych Ward" or "Fifth Floor", now it's "Rehab" or "In-Patient"), anyway when I was there, the worst part of the treatment was "Group!" Man that was tough! In my case, most of the people were pretty sick and didn't get much benefit from Group other than socialization with the other patients. But sometimes even that didn't work out too well. People ended up yelling at each other, throwing chairs around, having to be forcibly removed in straight jackets. Ever had one on? Tough to get out of! Usually after a few twisting, writhing tries, you just give up. That would usually be followed by a crying jag. Then the Chloral Hydrate would kick in and you'd sleep for 10 hours.
That would be a typical day. Other days we would have planned events like horseback riding where the horses would be spooked by the vibes from the crazy guys and then someone (usually a Manic) would call somebody else a fat slob, and the fat slob would clinch his teeth and scrunch up his face and let off "Grrs", then he would crush the cup of hot coffee in his hand out of the inability to deal with his anger. This would be followed by the straight jacket, Chloral Hydrate and the inevitable sleepy time.
At night, those of us who had been "good", would get to watch a movie. Trouble was they only had one movie. In my case it was "Play it Again, Sam." This movie starred Woody Allen as a loveable mensche who was having a hard time getting laid. So, he hallucinates a Humphery Bogart character that no one else can see, who gives him pointers on making it with women. Movies about hallucinated characters whispering messages is not something I want to see. Night after night. The same movie. Play it again! "Here's looking at you, kid."
Every Wednesday the whole bunch of us would take a walk out on the grounds, a walk abound the parameter of the hospital. This would also include a trip to the Pharmacy accross the street. This was very important- They wanted to see how we interacted with normal people in normal situations. We would line up and each buy a candy bar. Problem was that this pharmacy was where I use to do a lot of shopping before I wigged out. It's where I used to cash checks. So here's me dressed in a hospital gown (oh yes) with all these lunatics and I'm looking at the clerk who recognizes me, where he's seen me for two years shopping here, and it just doesn't compute. First he smiles this big smile, says, "Hi, Mr. Love." But the smile quickly changes to confusion then to embarrassment as he hands me my change and I move on.
:: Tom 8:44 AM [+] ::
... :: Monday, October 20, 2003 ::I'm sorry but this South Beach thing is a bitch! Here I am, running around from 7:30 AM till 10:30 at night and no carbs??? Made it till about 4:00 this afternoon when the world caved in. Cravings just plain overwhelmed me! Surely you know how that is! So I guess I'm a failure at this no carb thing. How bout I just cut out the donuts, cakes, pies, banana pudding and candy?! Think that would help me drop a few lbs? Plus no more trips to the All-You-Can-Eat Diner! You know, some common sense kinds of guidelines. Add in a little bitty bit of exercize, like walking the big red Sniff each night, and there you go! Banning potatoes and bread and rice and such is just asking for trouble. Deb is going to stick it out and I wish her the best but I'm not going to do it!
They are asking me to move my office...same floor, different area. I'll be off by myself, no bosses in sight. Oh Boy! Course I'm tied up all week with meetings so I can't sneak off. Still It gives me a feeling of freedom. Work is going ok, a little more interesting than before. Electronic Records Management and E-Govt. are heading at us at 90MPH and we better be prepared. I've been telling Management this for 2 years and now they are ready to fund it. My time to shine.
My music efforts are on hold right now...it's a money thing.
Wearing: Light brown knit polo, dark olive polyester slacks, suede slip-ons
