:: My Reality ::

"80% Alternate Universe, 20% Barely Hanging On!"
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:: Friday, December 06, 2002 ::


Look Good, Feel Good!Finally Friday. I changed the name of my Blog and lost all the archives! I have been messing around with the Template all week, put in the counter and guest book. Then I tried to change the skin to Cobalt which I think is really cool but it wont' work. Either I messed up my code in the template or something because it wouldn't take. Gave me an error message.
Pay Day today. Finally I have some money! Will treat myself somehow, maybe a car wash. Of course there are bills, Car Insurance, some hospital bills I gotta' pay. Went Blog hopping yesterday ended up at the Naughty Secretary's website. I laughed so hard I howled and cried. You know the kind of laugh that doesn't come out right, almost like a Whoop! Trust me, you need to visit that sight. Also ran accross some web comix. That was great too, "cat and girl" and others.

Listening to: Nothing, my computer quit making sounds

Feeling: Kind of cramped inside

Missing: Pam and Don in NC

The week has been kind of sucky. I developed a hierarchical file structure for one of our big projects. That was fun, better than listing contents of boxes which is what i have to do today. Went to the Mall last night with my wife. I looked great in a button down blue and white check shirt with gold tie. Part of my switch to spiffy clothes. Today I'm in a mustard color shirt, button down, haven't picked the tie yet. "Look good- Feel good!" That's what I say.

:: Tom 10:15 AM [+] ::
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:: Monday, December 02, 2002 ::
Blind Faith

Yep it's Monday. Saw my therapist today. I see her only to chart my progress from when I first saw her in August. I was a mess then, fighting, struggling with my Self, a lot of hate inside. Am much better now, more tolerant of my own mistakes and taking responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. It's actually liberating to know that no one, no other thing is running my life. That may be common knowledge to 99% of the people in the world but to those us of who 'Sam' the dog talks to, it's a relavation, a watershed event. It has taken me 30 yrs to get back to reality and you'll surely forgive me if I decide not to tamper with my brain any more. No more reading boods about Psycho-psychotic Madness trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I was never in any of those books anyway. And then there's the Christ- Saten war for my soul. Both of them were powerful hallucinations of mine, having little to do with the real Christ and his Biblical advisary. The real Jesus is a matter of Faith ; pure, blind, invisible Faith and that is my own joyful belief.

Listening to: Mississippi John Hurt's Candy Man

Feeling: Absolutely Euphoric

Missing: My Guitar
..

:: Tom 5:46 PM [+] ::
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