:: My Reality ::
:: Friday, August 22, 2003 ::
Nothing but blue skies comin' my way! This horrible three year run of bad luck is finally over! Wish I had my Taylor back, that would top it all off. But that too will come in time.
Once upon a time, oh it's been years, I lived with a very talented artist. She could draw, paint, do still life, portraits, but her favorite genre was cartoons! We lived together in a rundown shack with another couple, it was a first time for all of us, this living together thing. We were blissfully happy, making love every chance we had. None of us cared that we lived in a dump with a mattress on the floor for a bed. We were happy and in love.
One day I came home to find her hard at work, painting in tempera on our bedroom window. I was working on a term paper and was kinda stressed and didn't pay much attention to what she was doing. Exhausted, I went to bed while she continued to work.
Next morning I rolled over to meet the sunshine pouring in through a freshly painted, full color, mural of a scene from Mother Goose! My darling had painted the characters from "Hey Diddle, the Cat and the Fiddle, the Cow jumped over the Moon!" Each item mentioned in the nursury rhyme had a cute little face and hands (The Dish running away with the Spoon was particularly wonderful). Everyone who came over fell all over themselves when they saw it. She was humble about this devine piece of work, only saying she painted the things that were in her heart.
That was 30 yrs ago...How did I ever manage to let her get away!
:: Tom 2:22 PM [+] ::
... :: Thursday, August 21, 2003 ::For a gender analysis of your writing (content, grammar, choice of words, not handwriting) go to the Gender Genie. It said that I was female. More later...Meeting to prepare for.:: Wednesday, August 20, 2003 ::
:: Tom 9:00 AM [+] ::
...Kudo's > Snickers for Tammy! (inside joke)
My son is breaking up with his girl friend/fiance and is falling apart over it. They have been together since she was 15 (now 22)! I mean for 5 years she lived with us, sleeping with our son (her family on welfare, virtually homeless). So they've not really known anyone else. They argue constantly, about itty bitty things. They really need to go separate ways, date some other people.
Deb's gone over to his house to soothe his broken heart.
Meanwhile I'm finishing up at the library (my second job). Not much going on here. Looking forward to work at my regular job tomorrow for the first time in months! Lots 'a cool things going on.
Planning to Steal: My wife's Santana CD!
Mood: Definately upbeat!
Promise to write something interesting tomorrow...Maybe a defense of the Transgendered!
:: Tom 8:42 PM [+] ::
...Listening to: Banjos, fiddle and bluegrass guitar!
Wearing: Olive poly slacks and grey tee.
Diet continues, having steady successes in food selection: Roast chicken, fruit, veggies. No doughnuts, cakes pies or drive up fast food. Will weigh on Friday.
I'm calling about a 2nd mortgage on the house this AM, give us some cushion capital.
Things at work heating up (in a good way). I have a chance to be a star if I can rescue the imaging system project from the group that has mismanaged it. They are too busy blaming the limitations of the software to see that the problem is one of misapplication! They are trying to make the system do things that it was not designed to do. I meet with Chief Technology Officer tomorrow and then the head of Ops. Management Friday afternoon.
Later in the day...I've cleared up one of the obstacles to the 2nd mortgage, we'll see how this works out. I am virtually a few days away from being free of problems that have plagued me for the past three years! I won't know how to act, how to think even. I am so accustomed to this yoke of debt around my neck and shoulders and the efforts to earn/create funds to make payments I'm already behind on, that I won't know what to do with myself! Part of the problem was that I was kept transactions a secret from Deb, ashamed because I had made bad choices. The more I tried to keep up, the behinder I got! Meanwhile she was making bad choices also and our cumulative debt became overwhelming. In the past two months we have been on a debt management plan with CCCS. I have confessed my secrets to her and we are making plans to pay these off also. In two years we will be totally debt free (accept for the house). All credit cards, both cars. Two years is nothing! I can't wait!
:: Tom 8:26 AM [+] ::
... :: Tuesday, August 19, 2003 ::Listening to: Sinatra backed by Nelson Riddle and his orchestra. I was stuck in traffic cursing my fate, down on my luck, and here comes Frank singing 'That's Life.' Turned my day around right there!
Wearing: Sunshine Yellow tee w/olive cotton trousers.
Take your hands off my heart
I don't love you anymore
Let go of the only thing that's left
worth fighting for
Don't want to see you
Or talk it over the phone
All I want for me
Is to be left alone
my thoughts are clothed in
clouded memories
Once our love was comfortable
like faded dungerees
Through the years you reach
and touch the place
where once you made a home
Take your hand off my heart
My love for you is gone.
Your name's tatood upon my arm
Inside a broken heart
That's faded and worn
Through the years you reach
and touch the place
where once you made a home
Take your hand off my heart
My love for you is gone.
:: Tom 2:41 PM [+] ::
... :: Monday, August 18, 2003 ::Heard from the recruiter in Chicago, seems the hiring exec. refuses to consider candidates outside the Chicago area, at least at this point. He thinks there should be enough qualified candidates in his area so that he doesn't have to deal with relocation.
I have lost 4 lbs in two weeks. Slow, yet undeniable progress.
Wearing: Solid black tee, khaki slacks, boots.
Watched over the weekend: 'She's the One.' Deb and I enjoyed it immensly. Last week it was Michael Douglas as Professor Tripp, in 'Wonderboys.' Both were witty, pithy, and both were comedies with dark edges. Douglas's Tripp was hilarious as he stumbled through an insane chaotic weekend. In 'She's the One,' Carman Diaz and Jennifer Anniston twirled the male leads round thier fingers. The great thing about not going to any movies on the big screen is that when they come around to cable, it's great! You've not seen them at all. Deb saw 'Chicago' at the Dollar Movies (actually $2.50, I think) last week on a "Girl's Night Out." I saw the Mr Beene movie with my daughter, Deb and I saw a movie not long ago that was so forgettable that I have forgotten what it was.
What happens if I just don't file my Federal taxes?
:: Tom 12:09 PM [+] ::
...Monday morn, sleepy. Thought the boss wasn't here but she is. Means I gotta' show some kind of visible progress here today. The on-site shredder service is coming this afternoon, shredding some 20 boxes which are clogging up my office. The boxes of files from the hallway have been moved to another location, so I'm covered there. I should really make some progress on those and have them transferred out.
A whole week in front of us, so I need to plan it out. I can't fly by the seat of my pants in this job: Too much visibility. There are specific people I need to meet with and certain systems which need to be proposed. And I don't know the level of understanding of these people vis a vis these systems. I've already been through this with one group of individuals, but now they've been ushered to the side and a new group has taken over the leadership of the Systems area. So, I'll have to go through the same feeling out process, the same arguments, the same blind eye toward progress...It's almost not worth it. Look, I'm 57 yrs. old, 25 yrs in my field, I know what need to be done, I'm just running out of patience.
