:: My Reality ::

"80% Alternate Universe, 20% Barely Hanging On!"
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::.."Hmmm..."..::
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:: Saturday, October 04, 2003 ::

I am going to break my own cardinal blogging rule: No Politics! But I just have to rant about the Big Fat Hypocrite, Rush Limbaugh. I have put up with hearing opinions from this blow hard for 8 years, occasionally tuning to his afternoon show to see if I could detect the half truths covered up by his snide rapid fire responses. Of course the softball questions posed by his adoring worshippers ("Ditto's, Rush) makes that easy. Deep within his race baiting vitriol were the standard Sophist falacies of gross generalization and reducto ad absurdum. These freshman rhetorical standouts were always sprinkled with a liberal dose of the much reveered "Family Values," made famous by that Consertive Compulisive Gambler, Bill Bennett (Hi, My name is Bill, and I'm... " all at once now, in low self depreciating tones, "Hi Bill").

Yeah. Rush Limbaugh. Al Franken's "Big Fat Liar" is also a "Big Fat Addict!" Caught! Probably on tape! Undercover agents. If you are Black or Hispanic it's called trafficing and in Florida that means 20 yrs in the big house. (Hell you get 20 yrs in Jeb Bush's Florida for just being Black or Hispanic). Drug purchases! Cigar boxes full of cash exchanged for cigar boxes full of Oxycontin. Hush hush deals with underworld contacts in dimly lit Denny's parking lots at midnight. Straight out of Reno/911.

Pain killers. Why pain killers? I'll tell you why: Because a person who is that full of hate is going to be in a lot of pain. A whole lot of pain. Demerol pain. Vicodin pain. Hydrocodone pain.

And you know, just maybe, this final truth, the one truth that he must face will save him. And slowly the pain will ease. And he won't need his daily multimilligram fix. As he works each of the 12 steps he will discover he need only face each person he has hurt and ask for forgiveness. Huh...? Wait a minute...That might take a long time...Damn! That might take a real long time. Hmm...Like Carol Mosely Brawn. "Movin on up." "I am Woman, Here Me Roar." The Feminazi's. Elanore Smeal. He'll need to do research and soul search before he gets to some of the victims of his disease. Yep, I'ts a long way down, and he'll probably never make his way back up.

BTW, Me and My Reality are taking a long deserved break. I will be up and Blogging again next Wednesday, October 15. See ya!

:: Tom 12:30 PM [+] ::
...
:: Wednesday, October 01, 2003 ::
Turning left onto North Druid Hills Rd. from Executive Park Blvd.

I was at a stop light today, thinking today about the infrastructure of reality. It all happened in an instant. I could actually see the inner connecting of thought/behaviour/events all around me represented by pulsating colored lines glowing dimly behind the fabric of it all. Messages were being passed back and forth between mind and matter. I peered deeper. I found that the whole shabang was being monitored by cartoon characters. Suddenly an idea bubble appeared above my head which read, in the language of Mr. Natural's everyman, Flakey Floont, "Is dis a system?" A warm feeling came over me similar to the feeling I get when my dog Sniff winks at me. Then the light changed.

:: Tom 6:19 PM [+] ::
...
:: Tuesday, September 30, 2003 ::
I'm fixing a hole where the rain's getting in...

Well, things dramatically improved last night...like night and day. It's as if this terrible black fog had been draped over me for several days and within just a couple of hours, it evaporated! Still going to see the Doc tomorrow, need something to take the edge off.
Gina asked about some tunes we could jam to. Her suggestions leaned toward songs by some of the great rockers of all time. To her "Satisfaction" I would add Rev. Gary Davis' Hesitation Blues, and Dave Van Ronk's Cocaine. As an Allman Bros tribute we could try Statesboro Blues, although mine sounds a lot more like Dave Bromburg than Greg and Duane. I guess I could relate to Hitchin' Post better than most!

But we would probably spend most of our studio session pouring through one of my song books: The Beatles, The Complete Scores, Every song written and performed by the Beatles. It's complete with musical notation for every instrument as well as guitar tablature. It was obscenly expensive but was an anniversary present from my darling Debby. Jamming to Maxwell's Sliver Hammer...what fun!

:: Tom 8:45 AM [+] ::
...
:: Monday, September 29, 2003 ::
Psycho Update

Hanging in there, as several of my good friends have hoped for me. Had one explosion last night. Spent a ruined weekend fuming and fighting with the self Who is actually not to blame...It's all my fault, I just curse the fact that I didn't have better sense when I made certain decisions.

The world would have been so much different had I taken Elaine's advise that first month and admitted myself to Hall Institute. And then two years later, if I had the common decency to just talk to Irene, to explain to her how fragile things were...she was such a beautiful person, my true soulmate...she would have helped me work things out. Instead I just walked away, sulking in silence. Through the years, the pain has been so intense. I have tried to build a life around it, a normal life, and have been pretty successful. Sometimes though it get's to bee too much. I'll make till Wednesday, then we'll turn it over to the Doc.

:: Tom 8:11 AM [+] ::
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